


On Edge

by HaleyBuckley



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Blood, Gun Violence, Injury, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:53:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25513858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaleyBuckley/pseuds/HaleyBuckley
Summary: Little Buddie drabble for what I imagine should happen in 314 ❤(excuse any mistakes I wrote it quickly and it’s not beta read)
Relationships: Buddie - Relationship, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley and Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Kudos: 84





	On Edge

“Hey, look at me, look at me Buck.”

Eddie’s been staring at his friend pacing the room for five minutes now. Buck’s neck vein is pulsating dangeroulsy and Eddie fears he might explode any second.

He knows the other man’s on edge and he also knows that means Buck’s willing to do anything to help the situation. The other man’s breathing is fast and he’s rubbing over his knuckles nonstop, the skin already being red and puffy. His eyes are watery and he looks like about to lose it any minute.

Eddie hates to see the pain in the younger man’s eyes. His friend’s been through enough already, has been hurt so much the last months. It pains Eddie to see him hurting again.

A sudden movement brings him out of his thoughts, when he sees Buck walking over to the next wall. His fists are clenched and Eddie knows what he wants to do, so he quickly walks over to where his friend is standing.

He watches Buck throwing his hands forward at the wall but Eddie gets there in time to stop the other man hitting the wall. He grabs him by his wrists and turns him around so his back is facing the wall. Buck’s breaths come in short rasps, his face is red and puffy and his eyes roam around in the room, wildly.

“She’s my sister Eddie. I couldn’t protect her last time with Dough and I can’t again this time. I can’t let her get hurt again.”

The tears threaten to fall and Eddie wants to catch them all and make it less hurting for his friend.

“The police knows what they’re doing. Athena will do everything to get them out safe you know that.”

Buck shakes his head and moves his hands downwards so Eddie loses his grip on his wrists and has to let go.

“I’m her brother, I need to protect her.”

And Eddie gets it. If it was his son in there he’d be the same. He’d raise hell to get in there and get his son out. But it’s too dangerous. They don’t know anything about the situation. Buck could get hurt and with his track record it’s certain that something bad would happen to him. Eddie won’t let that happen, he won’t let his friend get hurt again.

Buck moves away and Eddie puts his hand on the other man’s shoulder, squeezing it gently.

“And you are here, trying your best. And you’ll be here when she’s out and you’ll be there for her as always.”

The other man shakes his head, madly, moving away.

“Listen Buck, it’s too dangerous to go in there, ok? You could get hurt.”

Buck freezes for a second and looks directly into Eddies eyes. His ice blue eyes look cold and are glazed over.

“I don’t care what happens to me, I need to save my sister, Eddie.”

Eddie swallows hard. He knows that Buck doesn’t think much of himself and he really wishes his friend could understand how much he means to his friends, co-workers, family. How much he means to Eddie and Christopher. Eddie doesn’t let go of the other man’s shoulders, his grip tight on it.

“I care. I fuckn care about you getting hurt because Buck I can’t see you hurt again. I can’t tell Chris again that his best friend’s hurt again or even worse.”

Buck sighs and shakes his shoulder so Eddie has to let go.

“Don’t play that card Eddie. Not now.”

“It’s not a card Evan, it’s the truth. You are too important, we can’t lose you.”

The younger man stops in his tracks and turns around again.

“What am I supposed to do Eddie? What- … how can I help Maddie?”

Eddie’s face softens and he wishes he could swipe away the other man’s sadness. He wants to touch his face, kiss the lines of sorrow away on his forehead. His strong feelings for his friend are crystal clear today and a shudder runs down Eddie’s back.

“By being strong, being there when this is over. She’s gonna need you.”

Buck nods and slowly sits down on one of the chairs. Suddenly Eddie’s phone rings and he turns around to answer the call. It’s Carla asking about the situation and telling Eddie that she’ll stay with his son tonight. He’s glad that he’s safe and he knows Carla will help him get throught this. He sighs and rubs his hands over his eyes when he puts the phone away.

He slowly turns around.

“Have you talked to- …”

His words get stuck in his throat because the chair which’d been occupied with his best friend is empty now. Eddie looks around hectically, but he can’t see the gingerblond head anywhere. He notices Bobby standing at the coffee machine and quickly walks over.

“Cap have you seen Buck?”

The Captain takes a sip from his coffee but puts it away quickly to look around the room.

“No. Wasn’t he with you?”

Eddie curses loudly and turns around on his heels.

“Find Athena and tell her Buck’s about to do something really stupid.”

Captain Nash immediately makes his way over to his wife but Eddie can hear him yell after him.

“Don’t do anything stupid either, Eddie, let Athena handle this.”

Eddie’s already out of the door though and doesn’t answer back. He searches the street in front of the house. There’s loads of police cars and officers and a headquarter tent. He walks over to the tent when he catches a glimpse of gingerblond hair at the street corner. Eddie starts running but tries to hide from the police officers. When he’s around the corner he can see Buck kicking at one of the basement windows and crawling through the whole. Eddie curses again and follows his friend quickly.

It’s dark inside the basement only the emergency lights are on. He can see his friend cower at the door, carefully looking into the hallway. He quietly moves behind Buck and grabs him by his shoulder, his hands finding it’s way over the other man’s mouth. Buck’s screaming against his hands but stops when he sees it’s Eddie.

“The fuck you doing Evan, what is wrong with you. It’s too fucking dangerous.”

The other man pushes him away. Buck’s breathing hard and there’s sweat running down his face.

“And I told you I am gonna save my sister, you can’t stop me. Get out I don’t want you here.”

Eddie scoffs and shoves the other man on the shoulder.

“I won’t let you do this alone, with your luck you gonna make this house explode Buckley.”

He can see a flash of hurt run over the other man’s eyes. He focuses back quickly though.

“You can’t. Christoper needs you.”

“Using the Christopher card huh.” Eddie grins but has to blink the tears away in his eyes. Of course he doesn’t want to leave his son but he can’t let his friend do this alone. “If you think I’m gonna let you do this alone you can fuck right off.”

Buck nods and ducks down on the floor. He looks into the hallway again and points his hand to the stairway at the end of the hall. Both men quietly walk towards the stair when they hear voices. One of the criminals is talking. They can hear people cry and then Maddie talks and Eddie almost can’t catch Buck’s arm before he wants to run up the stairs.

“Don’t Buck, wait.”

Buck shakes his head and slowly and quietly walks up the stairs. They can look up now and the view is clear to the room. They can see the two criminals standing in the room. Some people are crouching in one of the corners. A young woman is crying loudly and the criminal starts yelling at her. That’s when Maddie stands up and starts talking to the men.

“What is she doing?”

Buck’s hand’s are shaking and Eddie thinks he can hear his fast heartbeat miles away.

“Being heroic just like all the Buckleys are.”

Buck rolls his eyes and wants to say something when they hear the criminal scream and there’s a loud bang.

Everything is loud and Maddie is suddenly too close to one of the men and Eddie can’t grab Buck’s shoulder before he runs up the stairs.

Everything happens so fast now. Eddie can see Buck running to his sister, throwing her on the ground. The bullet hits one of the back windows and shatters in pieces. The woman doesn’t stop screaming and the men is holding his gun towards Buck’s direction. The younger man is shielding his sister with his body. His head is bleeding, he must have hurt it during the fall.

Then there’s another loud bang and Eddie sees the bullet in slow motion. Buck won’t be fast enough to duck away and Eddie can see the bullet hit Buck’s head in his mind.

He moves before he thinks and jumps up and in front of the siblings. There’s fire in his chest, exploding him from the inside. He feels hot and cold at the same time. He connects with the floor dramatically and it knocks all the air out of him.

There’s more noises now and people are storming the room. More shots and Eddie blinks his eyes open to see the criminal lying on the floor, hole in the head.

He rolls himself on his back and turns his head to the side. Maddie is clinging onto Buck crying and Buck is looking at him. He looks incredibly scared. And Eddie wants to tell him not to be scared because he’ll save them. There’s a police officer next to them and he helps Maddie standing up. Buck crawls towards Eddie on all fours, not even bothering to get up. He stops in front of him.

Eddie can see the tears in his eyes. There’s still blood running down on the side of his face. It’s covering his birthmark and Eddie lifts his hand to wipe it away.

“Fuck why did you do that Eddie, what were you thinking.”

Eddie wants to laugh but a sharp pain stings in his left shoulder. He moves his hand over to his shoulder but Buck grabs it before he can reach the point where it hurts. He knows he’s been shot, it’s not the first time. But being hit in the shoulder is another level then being graced by a bullet on his arm. The pain is like fire and clouds his mind and eyes. He’s incredibly tired all of a sudden and he thinks of Christopher. He’s incredibly sad because he doesn’t want to leave his boy. He doesn’t want to leave Buck.

Eddie coughs slightly and Buck takes one of his hands and uses his other one to press on the wound. Eddie moans out in pain when Buck’s hand presses down hard on the wound.

“Why did you do this you idiot?”

Buck’s eyes are crystal clear now. They’re blue like the sky. Eddie’s always been in love with his eyes.

Eddie lifts one of his hands and touches Buck’s face. He leaves a trace of blood on his cheek and it makes him shudder.

“You know why Evan. I lov- …”

He can’t finish his sentence and he hates himself for not telling Buck sooner. The darkness is threatening to take his mind over. He blinks a couple of times to stay awake, but it’s too hard.

He can see Chimney and Hen in the distance, running towards him with their equipment and Eddie prays that they’ll be able to help him.

He looks back at Buck, who’s crying hysterically now. Again he wants to wipe the other man’s tears away. He doesn’t like it when he’s crying. Buck needs to smile, Buck should always smile.

“Eddie no, no stay awake. Keep your eyes open, please, you know the drill. Eddie please!”

His face goes slack and he can’t squeeze Buck’s hand back anymore. He blinks again and it costs him so much energy to open them once more.

Buck’s face is right in front of him, his blue eyes sparkling at him. They’re beautiful.

“I love you too, do you hear me Eds. I. Love. You.”

Eddie smiles and lets the darkness take him under.

______________________________________________

“Eddie come on man, you need to wake up. Your son needs you. I- …”

Buck squeezes his eyes shut, the pain in his heart overwhelming him. He takes a deep breath and slowly opens them again. Eddie is still there, lying in front of him, awfully silent. Not a muscle in his body is moving except his chest is raising up and down in slow rhythm. His eyes are closed and his long eye lashes are resting against his cheeks softly. 

Buck would give anything to see them open now, see the shining hazelnut brown of them.

He gently rubs his hand up and down the other man’s arm but stops on his wrist. His finger wanders to the pulse point there. It’s a steady drumming against his finger and Buck tries to focus on it. 

He looks back at Eddie’s face. He seems peacefully and for a moment Buck forgets where they are, thinks about him waking up next to Eddie for the first time when they accidentally had a sleep over. He remembers the way he looks when the other man opens his eyes in the morning, his skin shining golden in the morning sun. His eyes full of warmth and love. Buck didn’t want to admit it to himself that he always wants to wake up like that. 

The heartmonitor jumps a bit and rips Buck out of his thoughts. Panic rises in his chest but the next beep of the heartmonitor is in a normal rhythm and Buck lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

He looks over to the other man’s chest, the big bandage on it peeking out of the hospital gown. 

He was a shot in the shoulder when Eddie had thrown himself in front of Buck to protect him, the bullet hitting him right in the left shoulder. It was complicated though, when wasn’t it with Eddie, the bullet hit his collarbone and got stuck there causing liters of blood to run out of the wound. 

It took the doctors a 6 hours surgery to fix the collarbone and artery there. 

6 hours Buck wished he was the one lying there not Eddie. 

It was his fault, wasn’t it. Of course he didn’t listen to Cap and the police and he blindly ran into the hostage situation. He didn’t care about what would happen to him but he did not expect for Eddie to follow him and actually get shot because of him. 

The guilt sits deep in his gut and he feels sick of it. But that’s just him, always screwing things up. That’s when he thinks he never should have gotten out under the fire truck that had been crushing him a year ago. People would be better off without him. He grips his best friends arm tight and a tear’s escaping his eye.

“I’m so sorry, Eddie.”

There’s a sudden noise and Buck turns his head around to see Christopher walking through the door. Seeing him makes Buck want to throw up right here and then. 

He almost took the kids father away, still could because Eddie’s not out of the woods yet. And it’d be his fault, him being impulsive and acting without thinking. He had to save Maddie, that was everything he could think of when he found out the 911 responder office was on lockdown by criminals.

Christopher slowly makes his way over to Buck and sits down on the chair next to him. The kid actually smiles at him and puts a hand on his arm.

“Hey Buck, did you get daddy to wake up yet?”

Buck blinks and looks back to Eddie, who still hasn’t twitched or moved.

“No buddy, I’m sorry. Your dad still has to rest a bit more. But he’ll wake up Chris, can’t leave the best kid in the world can’t he.”

Christopher nods and moves his hand over to his fathers. He lifts it up and puts his hands inside. Buck feels like crying.

“I’m so sorry Chris, this is all my fault.”

The kid looks back at him, his face being all serious now. He shakes his head.

“My dad saves people, that’s what he does. You and Maddie needed saving, so he did.”

Christopher looks confident and smiles again

“I’m glad he saved you, you’re my best friend Buck.”

Buck feels his chest getting tight and it’s difficult to get air in. How can Christopher not be mad at him. He put Eddie in this hospital bed.

“Chris I - …”

He can’t get the words out. His chest heaves up and down and he feels dizzy.

The kid still looks at him, his hand holding his fathers.

“It’s ok Buck. Dad will come back to us, he loves us.”

Tears start to spill in Buck’s eyes and his vision goes blurry on the edges. Christoper is cleary Eddie’s kid, so full of positivity and hope. It pains Buck even more to see him sit there next to his unresponsive father in the hospital bed. He can feel bile rising up his throat and suffocating him from the inside.

“I’m sorry, I - …”

He jumps up in panic, almost pushing over the chair, he was sitting on. With big steps he’s at the door and opens it. He almost stumbles into Pepa who is just making her way into he hospital room.

“Buck, what’s wrong? Are you ok, sobrino?”

He ignores the woman and runs down the hallway out of the emergency exit and almost doesn’t make it in time before he kneels over and emptys the content of his stomach into the grass. 

There’s not much to throw up though. It’s only coffee and water. His stomach cramps and tears are running down his face. He can’t breath and he feels like dying. And maybe that’s how it should be. Him dying, not his best friend he loves more than he wants to admit to himself.

Suddenly there’s a hand on his shoulder and he almost falls over into his own vomit on the grass.

“Hey, hey Evan. Calm down. Deep breaths.”

The person grabs both of his shoulders now and turns him around. Carefully he’s guided over to sit down, away from his vomit. Hands touch his cheeks and he leans into the contact.

“Can you look at me little brother? You need to control your breathing, ok?!”

Buck blinks his tears away and sees his sister kneeling in front of him. She’s rubbing tiny circles on his cheeks with her thumbs. He tries to regulate his breathing back to normal but his chest hurts.

“In and out, in and out Evan. Yeah that’s it.”

He’s slowly taking breaths in and out now and he doesn’t feel like dying anymore. The pain and guilt is still sitting on his chest though. He looks at his sister with pained eyes.

“It’s my fault Maddie. Eddie’s lying in there because of me. Chris might lose his father. I did this to him.”

Maddie’s faces goes soft and she wipes her finger of his upper lip to get some vomit off it.

“He’s not gonna die. He’ll wake up and he’ll be fine. He’s a fighter that Diaz kid.”

Buck shakes his head wildly.

“I still did this to him, it’s my fault.”

Maddie grabs his wrists and rubs softly on the skin there.

“It’s not your fault that the criminal took us hostage and you didn’t pull the trigger, did you?!”

Buck swallows hard and he hates the sour taste in his mouth.

“But Eddie went in there because of me.”

Maddie squeezes at his arms.

“Yeah, but that was his decision. He wanted to protect the people he loves.”

Buck sighs and lets himself fall forward into his sisters chest. The tears come and they won’t stop. Sobs wracking his whole body and he feels so incredible tired. Maddie is holding him tight. He can feel and hear her heartbeat against his ear. She’s moving her fingers up and down his spine. She used to do that a lot when they were younger and Buck had a panic attack.

The hug lasts for a while and Buck slowly calms down. Maddie lets go of him and gently grabs his chin to make her brother look at her.

“That’s what we gonna do now. You go and clean yourself up and then we’ll sit with Chris and Eddie, ok? We’ll get them through this, we’re a family.”

Buck nods and whipes the tears and snot away. They both get up and walk inside the hospital together. Maddie walks into Eddie’s room while Buck goes to the toilet and throws some water in his face. 

He looks awful. Black circles under his eyes. His head wound looks angrily at him by turning blue already. He carefully touches the spot on his forehead and hisses in pain. He takes in some deep breaths and makes his way back to Eddie’s room. 

He walks in head bowed down because he doesn’t want to look, when he does though he sees Chris, Maddie and Pepa smile at him.

“Time you showed your face, Ev.”

Buck’s head shoots up and he sees Eddie looking at him. The other man still looks a bit pale but better than before. His eyes sparkle and he’s actually smiling.

“You’re - You’re awake.”

The words come out in a stutter and his knees suddenly feel wobbly. Pepa and Maddie are next to him in no second, grabbing him under his armpits to steady him.

“Woah, are you ok Buck?”

Eddie trys to sit up better but winces in pain.

Buck shakes himself back to reality and rushes over to Eddie’s bedside.

“No, no don’t, watch your shoulder.”

Eddie pulls a face and breaths heavy.

“Ugh I forgot.”

The other man settles himself back onto the pillow and looks at Buck, smile on his face again.

“I was a bit worried when I didn’t find you here. I thought you were hurt.”

Buck sits down in the chair next to the bed and points at his forehead.

“Just my dumb head, besides that I’m fine.”

Eddie’s face goes serious.

“You’re not dumb Buck, maybe a bit reckless but not dumb.”

Buck looks away in shame and fidgets with his fingers on his lap.

“Right, why don’t I and Maddie take Chris to get some lunch. You want some sausages, darling?”

Pepa walks over and helps Christopher to stand up. The kid stops for a second and looks at Buck. He bumps his little fist against Bucks upperarm and smiles.

“Told you dad would wake up.”

Buck smiles a bit and pats the kids shoulder.

“Yeah you did, kid. You did.”

Both men watch their family walk out of the room. Buck turns to his friend on the bed.

“Look, Eddie I’m so sorry, god this is all my fault and I’d understand if you’d hate me. I almost made you leave Chris and - …”

Eddies lifts his hand and gestures for him to stop talking.

“Would you please stop blaming yourself. You didn’t do anything to me. I made the decision to follow you in there, Buck. I didn’t have to but I - I didn’t want you to get hurt, okay?!”

Eddie tries to sit up again and shakes his head when Buck moves to help him. It hurts Buck to see the other man in pain and he wants to switch places with him. After some seconds he’s sitting up straight and his breathing is back to normal.

The other man reaches over and takes his hand in his own. His brown eyes sparkle at him and Buck feels like he’s getting lost in them. Eddie’s voice brings him back.

“Evan, your my family. You’re like a dad to Chris, Pepa calls you her nephew all the time. You mean so much to us, of course I don’t want you to get hurt. I love you, man.”

Buck blinks at Eddie in confusion. Could it be possible that the other man feels the same about him. Buck knows for a while now that his feelings for the other man are more than just friendship. He didn’t think Eddie would possibly feel the same.

Eddie rubs circles in his palms and he blushes a bit.

“I - I love you too?!”

Eddie smiles brightly and moves Buck’s hand to his face so he can kiss his knuckles.

“So no self-blaming anymore, ok? I know what this can do to you and no offense but I need a little rest before I can go back into rescue mode.”

Eddie chuckles and it warms Buck’s heart.

“Not funny, Eddie.”

He squeezes his hand and smiles back.

“You also might tell me when you wanna throw yourself into a dangerous hostage situation again next time so I can bring us bullet proof vests.”

“Eddie!”

The other man laughs but starts coughing and Buck is up in an instant leaning over to rub the other man’s back. He’s so close to Eddie now that the other man just grabs him by the shoulder and pulls him into a hug.

“I’m glad you’re ok.”

“I’m glad you’re ok, too.”

Eddie’s hands feel warm on him and Buck finally can breath rigth again. He can feel the other man’s breath against his neck.

“And I’d do it again. Save you. I’ll always save you, Buck.”


End file.
